Mormons and Guilt

For many people, guilt and religion seem to be joined at the hip. Both the Jewish and Catholic faiths occupy positions of preeminence in the pop culture ratings of guilt factories, but take my word for it--Mormons are probably not far behind.

I have a little problem with that. Allow me to explain.

People of faith are often, by nature, people who care about their own performance relative to religious standards. That is an intrinsically good thing. It can also be a very bad thing when the guilt someone is feeling is false. In my opinion, false guilt is a plague within the Church. It can fill one with negative, debilitating feelings that are not easily resolved. Those feelings can make life miserable and make the sufferer unable to function or serve effectively in the Church.

When it comes to guilt, what is the difference between the genuine item and the fake?

Two things are requisite to invoke feelings of guilt:

1) A moral standard against which actual behavior is measured.
2) A moral compass that performs this measurement and informs our brain and heart of the results.

Almost every sane person of accountable age has a working moral compass. Those who do not (including the very young and the mentally ill) are not held accountable for consequences of their faulty moral compasses. We often refer to this compass as a "conscience", and read about it in Moroni 7:16. "For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God."

If one's moral compass is working as designed, where does false guilt find its root? It rises from the application of a false moral standard.

False moral standards come in many forms, and can produce feelings of guilt that are entirely unnecessary and futile. These false standards can include:

- the arbitrary opinions and expectations we allow others to impose on us
- our self-delusional efforts to create and maintain a "perfect" outward appearance to others
- traditions of our religious culture wrongly interpreted as doctrines or commandments from God

Allowing such false standards to fill us with false guilt is worthy of the rebuke the Lord delivered in D&C 30:1--"...you have feared man and have not relied on me for strength as you ought."

I believe there is one, and only one, legitimate moral standard for behavior for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That standard is obedience to the commandments of God as they are delivered to us by His prophets, seers, and revelators, and administered by the legitimate chain of priesthood authority down to the local level. Doctrine & Covenants 59:21 supports this view: "And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments." The guilt resulting from failure to control one's behavior to conform to this standard is absolutely legitimate, and should become a mainspring for sincere repentance. The Apostle Paul contrasted legitimate guilt with false guilt in his second epistle to the Corinthians, chapter 7 verse 10: "For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death."

It seems to me that living in conformity with the one legitimate moral standard we have as members of the Church should be, must be, can only be a full-time job. I submit that any time and effort we spend attempting to satisfy any false standard detracts directly and proportionately from the legitimate process of becoming spiritually mature. And that, it seems to me, is exactly what the Adversary desires.

As we seek to eliminate false guilt and focus our time and energy on achieving legitimate spiritual growth, I believe it is essential to hearken to living prophets. To that end, I offer the following:

Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve taught, "The distinction between feelings or inclinations on the one hand, and behavior on the other hand, is very clear. It’s no sin to have inclinations that if yielded to would produce behavior that would be a transgression. The sin is in yielding to temptation."

Elder Russell M. Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve taught, "I hope it goes without saying that guilt is not a proper motivational technique for leaders and teachers of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We must always motivate through love and sincere appreciation, not by creating guilt...Still there are those who experience some feelings of guilt as a consequence of their service in the Church. These feelings can come when our time and attention are being torn between competing demands and priorities. As mortals, we simply cannot do everything at once. Therefore we must do all things “in wisdom and order” (Mosiah 4:27). Often that will mean temporarily postponing attention to one priority in order to take care of another. Sometimes family demands will require your full attention. Other times professional responsibilities will come first. And there will be times when Church callings will come first. Good balance comes in doing things in a timely way and in not procrastinating our preparation or waiting to fulfill our responsibilities until the last minute."

Finally, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught, "True repentance blesses our lives with the effects of the Atonement: we feel God’s forgiveness and His peace, and our guilt and sorrow are lifted away; we enjoy the influence of the Spirit in greater abundance; and we are better prepared to live with our Heavenly Father. Once we have truly repented, Christ will take away the burden of guilt for our sins."

Pursuing legitimate spiritual growth is far too important for any of us to waste any time trifling with false guilt based on false standards.

As always, God provides us with genuine love and value while the Adversary offers only a shadow and a sham. May we turn unto true light and life.