Christmas Carols for the Mentally Challenged

I know this blog has been light on political commentary lately, but I'm so disgusted with what's going on in Sacramento I might violate my own obscenity standards if I were to write anything pertinent. SO...now for something completely different!

I can take no credit for this, but I thought it was hilarious. Everyone I know, including myself, is mentally challenged in some way. Which of the carols listed below rings your bell? :-D


Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?

Amnesia -- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic Personality Disorder -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

Bipolar Disorder (Manic Episode) -- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And
Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And.......

Paranoid -- Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us

Borderline Personality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, You Better Not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll Not Tell You Why

Antisocial Personality Disorder -- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

Agoraphobia -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House

Alzheimer's Disease/Senile Dementia -- Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe

Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned the House Down

Social Anxiety Disorder -- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

Attention Deficit Disorder -- We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!

You Don't See That Everyday

OK, if you're a Mo, I bet this pic really grabbed your attention.

It's very tempting to comment, but, then again, maybe some things are just better left unsaid.

LOL

MOs

From our friends at lightplanet.com:

Many of the gentile persuasion in the Salt Lake City area have taken to calling members of the Church, "MOs."

Well, the truth is that being called a MO isn't so bad. While it's not exactly a term of endearment, MO beats some of the other things I've been called--lots of them by fellow MOs. To ease the tension, between MOs and gentiles, I've come up with a brief MO Lexicon. Practice these terms, learn to be comfortable with your MO self.

MO - Mormon
NO MO - Non-Mormon
MO NO MO - Apostate
MO TOWN - Provo
MO PEDS - People walking across the street to Temple Square or the MTC in Provo.
MO HAIR - Missionary standards haircut.
PO MO - A financially challenged Mormon
MO LASSES - Mormon Babes!!
MO TEL - Bishop's interview, tithing settlement.
SU MO - Grad of BYU Law School
MO GUL - Large white Utah bird frequently seen in Church history books, parking lots and dumps.
MO RALLY - Third quarter BYU drive against the U of U.
MO SEY - LDS sense of time.
MO NOGAMY - LDS marriage practice.
MO TIF - Two or more Mormons engaged in a heated difference of opinion.
MO LDIE - Older LDS member, temple worker, etc.
MO MO - Missourian Mormon
MO TION - What LDS do to coffee, tea, tobacco and alcoholic drinks
MO DERN - a western LDS cuss word - softer than "fetch"
MO DULATE - how outsiders refer to "Mormon Standard Time"
MO DULE - since killing isn't allowed, it usually amounts to scripture chase
MO HAWK - political faction opposed to the MO DOVES
NO MO MO MO - What Governer Boggs tried to achieve.
MO LDS - What we get when we do our missionary work
MO LAR - One who doesn't do his hometeaching, but says he does.
MO NARCH - A Mormon DEA Agent.
MO NOTONY - The Ward choir.
MO NOLINGUAL - First week in the MTC

Down the Drain

Roto-Rooter says they have found all of the following while unclogging drains:

Broom handles, doorknobs, garden hoses, bungee cords, a hummingbird feeder, a glass eye, gold teeth, dentures, contact lenses, toothbrushes, hearing aids, toupees, lingerie, long johns, towels, robes, socks, TV remotes, pagers, an alarm clock, Timex watch that took a licking and kept on ticking, a Rolex watch that took a licking and died, a billiard ball, golf balls, a shrimp net, a tear gas canister, birds, bats, beavers, cats, fish, ducks, frogs, possums, skunks, a piranha, a six-foot rattlesnake, $400 in coins, $58 in change in a laundromat pipe, canceled checks, a $4000 diamond, $50,000 in cash, a Cornish game hen and a six-pack of Budweiser.

There's never a dull moment in the plumbing business.